Wouldn't say even half a stupid thing before they drove in the final nail.
In my dog kennel.
I meant that.
Spice bums (naughty me I'm plagiarising just a tad but then when the sublimest fucking forever, ever ends up with a new Tangled....
Hidden tangled up around hos knickers in a twist needing to hide the best one, forever....
Amazing Grace...
Swiss banks of the river they live on....
I canknee stop....
And my how they (pl) would love her....
As i do
No matter what, next. Always ....
But oh my as i figured, yes, the pain..... I can take any but if she leaves it all the way until the wheels have indeed fallen off, my oh my that will really hurt.....
So, back to biz, Should I, I mean we, merge...?
I mean the 'sister' of this.
What do the runes say? one wonders.... not for cash. Ever.
Let's listen and listen and hear if there are any clues. Cos i not a thiought left for
She would not have been here, if it was not for that one little buggy bat
Or bothersome Chink...we will never know so why do they think they can know.
But the fluttery buterbye bye effect...
fuck....
I hope Gabriel can see and hear and know...
Because only he could know she was all his imagination and more in that one moment. That was impossible t'was gunner be...
reality by magic, by the most guileful writing to err ever...
It cannot be topped.
And her lad battling Homeric tles into the equation.... "they dould poison me now melad...and i would die happy...... because tiz impossible to see a Helen like that do that.... and mean it"
Being one does not lie in front of...them. That she also knew....
But to know what that line
means the one 'bout the most bootiful woman crawling over all that cut glass...
we touched.
Often.
Her children were even better
than i ever imagined.
Ferkin Bob couldn't, well as I
said to The Narratoress
"S1.... your
namesake..... when she came...
"ALL and you know how i swear by my
Gabby....
" From Leaf Storm to
melancholy hooker....
" Every word of his cannon
was in that one hour...
"The Sublime mixed up with
the 'most beautiful woman', to quote the bard, giving me the most beautiful
looks, to quote the impossible...
"it... the most glorious
year in all my human history continues... and you know it started with you you
lying tart hahh hahhh....down by your river as i was sat there reading that
very best, last Leo...April 2020......
"But what of the latest
Rachel principle little development....we shall see...a certain Mister
Machiavelli may have a turnin in his grave because there is alwas the RAchelian
pacifist version of...advantage... WHO KNOWS I HAVE NOTHING AND NEED NOTHING
BUT A ROOF WOULD BE CONVENIENT PERHAPS... accidental capitals too busy
with that sublime to care to change "
Now, this starts....
Wednesday 27 October 2021
Now, the observant will perhaps note something. Not that i need to be observed indeed, neigh will never know if I am.
The quantum of it - well she received a greater privelage than she will ever know; no one else knows of him. This Ralph. Oh Ralph there was only really ever you and I. They would have decried him too.
And that is pride is of course a dubious concept however I do more than pride mysen' on being up at four or five of the morn' and a timestamp proving so - well it used to be my trademark.
So, what can one say except I bet she was fraud, too.... not knowin' her Atchin Tan...
Ooops intrusion in a word, there... one cannot speak true words so let's use nice little fluffy ones, despite her being lethal, quite clearly; fraud just a short cut word for lost, and maybe even loney.
In the same room albeit rather a large one, in the same year, as he was this good.... I hope he was that good, for her.
Even if i would no longer recognise her.
But thIs is no tale of loss and lament. That's the question. Can she ever know? Would it harm her to know. I mean Blake still loves his "captors" (rather well done). Fate Accompli. But truth trumps mere being. Perhaps...
I mean last Friday at 1100
hours ish really really...
Beaten.
"hmm so will they take the
books... years no matter what, no matter what silly little bug, I
collected...?"
"well, overdue, well
overdue hahh hahh due to the most glorious year in all of history, well at
least since Debord figured it....all of history indeed; because it is
impossible that she would in front of him.... well...."
Just a thoughtbubble, for the
one whom fair dinkum started it:
"your goddesses....sorry
luv, I think we can say that world is full of the not very languid and not very
honourable - no matter which side of the pond you spell it from.... twenty
seven years I have awaited this, no way she will keep to her word... [those
dots are The Sublime by the way not that any nincompoop could get that]
.... but I prepared as if she would, because that is the right thing....
and when t'other day my ballies did not back off and i knew this time i was
beat.... about two years late; well... t'was the hour later when i knew that I
really would be beat.... and then just like that as if to prove that
Goddesses really do love to switch passages they f you up..... I
wasknee...
"but i have no pride.....I
was arranging to subsume all the way to their book nickin inevitable...
"I even rehearsed the
chat....
"and the 'look' ...of
resignation
"But, luv, I shall not try
to prove to you that your goddesses or 'inner work' is a load of pants; I know
not the deal and should have been dead years ago, but i have only one gift as I
have pondered all day on my hill: as we know the sheepl have fallen hook line
and sinking feeling for one little thing..... to 'control' the uncontrollable.
Accept. And look for what can be, so much fun it is daft.... but a tip, I near
died to save that Union; and your Nige well he as good as stabbed her in the
back as she was off backpacking to even The Armenian revolution....
but i feel not one quantum particle of confusion about you ....
despite your side, and had to accept your uneducated anti Enlightenment bolshiness,
not in any way as good as an actual God of the Bolshie, Thomas The B ...
a ferkin foreigner according to you...
"but for your own good
that parallel matter, accept like I did - I am unmarryable according to
all my foreign babes... because they don't like us any more; accept... it
is only about the sentiment of the peepl, and there is a critical mass even if
no one among that "other 15% " who understand 'constructive
criticism' is because you love..... Mister B knew that, i think.... those
15 ish percent who may hold some sway, and i know languid sway.... they
dictate, that your other argument you have...lost, for thine own good give it
up"
I wish I was eleven months ago as the perfect living in the perfect moment.
Day after day.
I must remember for always the way, cycling out from the ruin
A real ruin, more ways than one.
Down that drive.... two hundred years ago he would have come up by gig or trap, that drive.
But everything that was him is behind me, as i head down that drive.
Every day - that moment coming out from the woods, into sunshine
"is she here lurking, waiting for my money perhaps?"
An inadequate way of describing not one moldy molecule of shame.
Fuck their living in the moment at a hundred quid for a few hours of moments
Of nonsense.
This is living - the energy just heading off, because one can.
And then it all started...
Every day, in the middle of nowhere, so much.
That was mine.
Those months were mine
Perectly mine.
Only mine.
And everything else for years - many a higher form of low and highish investigation of things never known.
Before, nothing.
Just that perfect few months .
Sometimes 'hiding' but then a few hours stripped off on my higher hill
who cares - no cares... just me and one or other once more good book.
But surely a bit of Balzac, cannot be much good. Until it is the only story ever made any sense.
Being 'me'.
Bully for me.
But then perhaps you want real emotion, without knowing you want real emotion.
Autopilot, standby....
With one difference - shame gone.
Is paradise. Is peace - the frauds claim even more there is online.
Nope peace is absolutely nothing
can happen.
So forget.
And where i wonder did he come from?
One day:
but i have to just play it...quiet
meaning this is not, exactly, inplacement, but exactly in sound, that which heard on a June day in twenty twenty because i have to be not me.
And....
"my oh my can we have forever more of this.... those naughty bootleggers all this marvelous free time....to share with us at last their genius goodies and goodies and ... I mean, it is impossible life became so viscerally poignant and completely liminal in a way that only, well... its a fuckin dream... a lovely one that hurts for the right reasons.."
But that is inadequate, for the person most of the time so hurt that only the greatest jokes can be made of it....
which is exactly what one must do.
Or die.
Living.
So the frig what.... nahh thats not me. Me is, "ten years of this... i survived but....
oh fuck.... he gonnan done it again how can only he hit you with Mozartian busseye so many a time..."
so lets have a little light relief.
There is a run up to this ditty but t will have to wait because in fact I need her now. This moment
Nineish Pm on the 25th of May 2021
She really... is me?
Noh but she is perfect and she is now - this time.
This moment, because Most of The Time was meant to be forever,
wasn't it the fuck meant to be surely it was...
I looked at the translation once of this sexist pig version above that does not even mention her name
typical fuckin ITI fuckin arrogant deliberate MIss Oh Jenny get the dinner on will yer...
But that's something from eight years ago
which is not this year - that year i remain cycling no hands through the most flowerful hidden away byways ever
June...
Last...
she could have been on then
she summed up then exactly the complete and utter fuck all else than her
and nature
and surprising amount of new friends, living genuinely nowhere
But then fast forward through literally a whole lifetime in a few months. To her.
Her layby.
I have quite a few different named laybys.
But i did not know her, then.
I should have known, t'was 'their'.
Because within just a few weeks.
Her...smile is as perfect as Alessia's
For sure
I cannot lie.
You cannot lie when she
is all there ever was.
But she was gone....
not most all the fuckin time....
f you knew - you it says just one of you.
Now this minute.
Maybe you are a bot
oops accidental italics i type very very very fast and aint wastin my time unitalixin
though there's something to be said in that
You. Witness....if you exsist.
You here this exact moment.
Oops again hahh hahh...
accidental!
No poise, no Grace
No words can get me from then to now.
This exact second.
oops again whats goin on
Last early autumn - another gorgeous stoppin on the horizon.
Another perfect no more shame
Another stop
ANother off yer fuckin high horses and... just be
That had worked, especially with her the great beauty
(not capitalised - only one gets the real GB treatment)
I mean harmony fuckin hairspray my trousers
That was not possible.
But lets get serious. this will not be.
But do it.
Of course every moment of true fear
true wonderation at our gatheration
mine
for her
only
As always.
A dream
Mad
get on yer old bike
head on why not
fight fight fight and sneer
but be thine self...
what self when there is no self it was gone years ago
a husk a silly notion a silly memory of someone once silly enough to loop his aeroplame middle of
Carribean sea nothing else to do but turn it up in the then Walkman
"this is the apex... there cannot be anything more.."
And that ship i once saw all a burnin.... seemed to fit.
Anyway lets not be too Richard Bach about this because there is the Hollywood version
And the real.
Them.
Oh my.... four of them...so dispirate
so surely explosive to gatherate together.
And then within just a few weeks, not for me
only for them. It just
Worked....
Even Ludvico could not compose even five minutes of it in five hours of Nuvole the extended version
With Upshaw or Elis Regina as perfect interpreter rather than the more perfect less well known.
Novemeber...ok out of year, until.... but by Marco we did it
the really heavy version but same net effect - all our rumpuses and fights and worries...nothing
Because by Marco
god the smiles on that young woman's face
I never knew such
bliss.
And her friends
And then mine even if i am cheating as mine was February. Midwinter. Srong sunshine up high
with them,
How did that happen!?
That's what i had wanted ten years ago.
T'was impossible.
Anyway i shall spoil it
Now
BY even writing one more word.
Because it - was done. Just done. No one else did. I did.
But it was a silly dream and embarassing fantasy i hardly shared
T'was for her
It did not need to be for her
because i just learned so much.
Not pious-learned, earest learned nuthin.
Real learning.
Depth.
Deepest possible depth.
Deepest possible why the fuck not.
There is no more not.
There is only we did.
But it was not for
Me
Of course not
Until, and talk about many to copy in.
BUt you really know before anyone else except her
The ringmastered sidekick Non Byronic sis
"i cannot....yet open it.."
But i can open this because even if she will never know
well she might it seems
who knows
because in fact I never before really knew what that word meant
But now live it
Cos the impossible, worked.
But not one smart arse bit o' cynic nor boo....
nor mixed up confusion.....
cos i just proved one simplest ever thing.... and thus can die. Now....
As i told her last night - errata evening, as country folk go to bed very early so they can savour each new morn....
No fuckwits even up and watching the plasma screens yet.
And every new morn is, well...
I do find it extraordinary who it is so easy to forget, to them, seemingly major events.
To be extricated "you watch my dog now..." from there. Oh bliss.
Never in 27 years - yes it must be.... that fateful moment nearly.
GFate what a childish word, along with 'karma'.
That's an interesting 'typo'.
GF....
I assume a man.
He got good, too.
But i was true
"i sit in my jaloppy listening to episode eight it has become so gorgeous and subversive...
"in that was no one seems to understand any more, is 'god'... small g"
And so, in truth, there are about five maybe more "master keys"...
Hilary with his old man hair dyed to look as if he had gone back thirty years;
Deabating with god Lee....
oh how sweet he can be i love him!
No not the one married someone thirty years younger,
the one who 'let go' and despite
More or less inventing string theory
Changing his mind...."pants".
And letting go - letting out his inner zany scientist
And pained thinker.
God i love him
And he leaves space in his new dimensions for
god - if were in French i would say god (f) as i told at last
The man who is dying in such Facebook glory
of
cant and vanity.
"listen only a female god can have such a devious sense of humour
"listen, if they are right and as Lee god states between tics or wistful sighs
"there may be eighteen other dimensions before our eyes
"in my book the fuckjobs of two thousand years ago
"odd..
" and if i were a babe i would demand for the next two k we are diety....
"our turn, dickheads...
"But Ian....
" I am the greatest of all ultra skeptics, well unless sat afront here - Her pad...
"How did i know she would come cycling by.... my opressor...in her yellow jacket....bossing us - errata them, so...
"cos i fell in love with nher then and then...
"just a few weeks ago she stopped..oh glorious 'stopping' none will do no more....
"Ian mate five years ago i had a plan for you..
"you once had a spirit...
"and then they paid you to broadcast it; and of course they wrung you balls dry and
"well the net result is dying all you can do is come and 'give thanks' here....
"where these fuckin hippos did not even manage to have an outdoor food bank...
"all those billions still in the bank....
"But Mister fatman, and had my plan
"had they left me time...
"them, i elevated the godhead ...
"in so many speeches to my friends the ' self pitying death cultists'
"as i was as usual that day Ian a few years ago moving on from as my form of standard greeting.... that always Ian
"gets a smile.
"that is a MAN Ian....
" a lost child stands there and tells me i am a cunt for ofending them....
"my friends....
" i trust....
"one of those so called SPDCs .... 'cunt'-me
"trusted, Ian with my substitute replacement children, i love....
"my 'ferrits'....
"no one else ever except the one you too destroyed and you know you did as she was the answer....
"exactly to Thomas Moore's blueprint five n'abiyt centuries ago...
"o one especially your kind has ever been ytrusted to care for...
"my 'ferrits' to quote yet another time was
ter..
"that is called an action rather than your fake words..
"BUt fatman i plan
"ed, before you got fatter and dying
"to help you - challenge you
"to loose it....
"because you were once good and still today i shall show them a once great mind and seditionist...
" so all is left Ian now you are so far gone
" and camnot pass it on - because that's the 'deal' i figured
"we must not...
"Ian there is something...
"more
"period"
("oh its as if Woman's Hour doesn't know we haven't only just invented them..." and she responds "vaginas" ... with a smile....and then....and then....oh what an 'and then'...)